8 days of non stop

but in a good way....but am falling asleep on my feet. literally. i was doing 'homework' for the 'stbh' (soon to be husband) and i's premarital class last night and literally fell asleep with the pencil in my hand....i just started my new job after being off work for 9 months--so 8 days in a row is a lot for me....im a nurse and have only worked in a hospital. now my job is in a nursing home. whoa. competely different world. a bit overwhelming at times, but i love it. never a dull moment...there are some feisty ones....but i love getting to know, truly know the resident, their quirkyness, their life story. today we had a confused resident call a cab to 'take them to 8 street.' we never found out who it was....someone trying to escape....

a little about myself to you newbies to my little bloggy....i am a mom of two kiddies. girls. 'M' is 8 and one 'R' is 4. they are my life, and my life never really began until them....some days they drive me crazy, but hey-whats life without craziness, right? i sometimes long for some alone time, but when i get it, im bored out of my mind and miss them terribly....crazy how it works that way. but other day, i enjoy a half hour of peace and quiet....M is extremely gifted, and i am not just saying that as a 'mom'-she has a photographic memory and recently had IQ testing and scored on the very above average for her age. yeah, kinda bragging, but her intelligence, mostly her memory blows me away. its crazy. she is super out going and will talk your ear off given the opportunity :). R is my little hippie child. snuggle bug to the max. total free spirit and just goes with the flow. shes a daddy's girl to the max. its crazy how they are so different, but so alike..... i am getting married in 2 1/2 months to my best friend and soul mate-my childhood sweetheart. we have a really neat, story. it would take forever to tell it, but someday i may just do that.....

i live in the cheese state. lived in atlanta for 7 years-freshman year in high school to 2001, so i consider that my home as well. and miss it dearly.....i love to pretend i can 'be one of the boys'...you know play football-which i can do pretty good, mind you. i like to mow the lawn-well sometimes, and watch football. i can be pretty feisty and love to dish it out-and take it just as well. im blunt and will tell you how it is, not afraid to speak my mind. sometimes tactfully, sometimes not. depends on my mood...and if i like you or not. ;) but....i am also one of the most compassionate, emotional people you will ever meet. i want to make a difference in peoples lives, an impact-in a good way. i love my profession and knowing that even if cant change the world, i know i can make a difference in peoples lives-and thats what drives me. there are bad days at work where i come home and wonder why i do what i do-bc my job isnt a job where i can 'just pack up and leave'. its so emotionally and physically draining at times, and to say that you dont get attached to your patients in some way is impossible. these are lives you are dealing with....and i am responsible for helping keeping them alive, and in some cases, helping them be comfortable in the last days of their lives.....but then there are the days that i affect me so greatly-when the families are so appreciative of the care and hard work you do, or you have a break thru with a difficult patient-or something that just makes it worth it. and i go home, remembering why i do what i do.

note-i fell asleep writing this last night.....and woke up this morning at 5am with my computer laying next to me.....guess i was tired.... :) and with a bunch of letters on the screen where i must have dozed off......hehe. anyway, ill end it here for today. i finally have the next 2 days off, so i am going to chill out and relax, especially since i feel a nasty cold coming on....eh. new germ exposure i suppose.....my immune system taking a hit.....

you know i love you....xoxo



am fret a

deleting this blog...

well.....folks.

apparently im pissing off certain someones, so im going anonyomous.....i will be starting a 'new' blog using aliases and such to 'protect' those parties involved so not to piss anyone off.....who knew a simple blog could cause such ripples. huh. anyway, if you would like to follow, pls send me an email, with your emai, and i will send you the link-and pls include your name-so i know who YOU are.....

ill keep this page up for a few days....

email: tbanda@new.rr.com


ciao!