best fam ever

yep. i have the best familia ever. let it be known.

so my eldest sister jenni is in town with her family. we are a close knit fam, and when we all get together, we usually cause all kinds of ruckus. so, tuesday night after work, i got a kinda wild hair and said lets go dress shopping. well, originally, we were going to go wedding dress shopping on Saturday, but then i forgot that leah and i had a work party to go to.

i was so.excited. so first we went to dress store #1. leah, having just gotten married a couple months ago, insisted that i try on 'one of every kind' of dress....oh geez. including the 'big bird' dress. this was just so they could tease me. my mom was giggling so hard she was crying. and when she does this, she cant stop. its pretty funny. i looked like a flapper. i found a couple dresses at store #1 i liked. i for sure found the bridesmaid dresses. score. ill post them if i cant figure it out....:/ im not blogger inclined.....

store #2 was my heaven. i knew as soon as we walked in that this was 'the place' i would find my dress. and ladies and gentlemen....i am fairly certain i found my dress....i have it narrowed down to 2, but im going to go back in a couple weeks and try them on again. (its not like i dont have time, geez.)

yesterday, i spent the day picking up puke (ew) from one sick emersyn. this is the first time she has ever had the puke flu. poor baby. plus a 103 fever. and then at around 7 last night, jae started with the fever and head ache.....agggggggghhh. my poor babies. :( and my sister jen stopped over to say hi. with a car FULL of groceries. for no reason at all! she went and bought me groceries simply bc she loves me. (well, and bc shes my financial 'advisor' and knows how broke ive been) but it was so sweet.

can i just say, i have the best family ever? honestly. ive always known it, i mean, i had soo much fun, just being with them when we went dress shopping. we laughed and made a lot of funnies and i have the most beautiful sisters and mom. :) i am so lucky and fortunate that God has blessed me day in and out with such a wonderful family. it is easy sometimes, to take that for granted...but they mean the world to me. i love you family!

a whole new level

this weekend i learned to love kelly on a whole new level. its crazy how going thru the bad takes you to the good sometimes. it was a rough weekend for the 2 of us, but we got thru. its crazy how having kids shakes things up in relathionships-for the good and for the 'bad'. (not ever for the 'bad'-but stressful, if that makes sense). and its hard for people who dont have kids to understand/see that at times, and sometimes i forget that. that other non-kid relationships dont have the same 'stresses' as we do....and that will make a difference at times.

but, at any rate, i am so fortunate to have such a wonderful man in my life. so fortunate.

its official

i have the wedding bug. i have been bitten. its all i can think about. eh. no worries....i promise, there will be no bridezilla over here, i am just so excited. and i have so many ideas of what i want i dont even know where to start...ahhhh.



and.....i have FOREVERRRRRRRRRR until the day gets here.......................

**save the date**

oh yes. i must not forget....


i meant to post this a while ago....but the official wedding date.....


DECEMBER 11, 2009



save the date people.

caution: may bite

okay. so i may or may not have thrown a small 2 year old temper tantrum because kelly wouldnt buy me supper right at THAT moment and made wait until igot home to eat. *sigh* i get super ornery when i am hungry. super ornery. i hadnt eaten all day and had only 1 can of soda. so not only was i lacking in the food department, but i was also lacking in the caffeine department. so-you can imagine....so i left. i went home. threw a temper tantrum and went home.


okay.....5 minutes later....(and when i realized that i had NO food in MY house) i realized how foolish i was....and called an apologized....but warned him that you just dont mess with a hungry, decaffinated broad. :) point taken.

also, 'dear nurse' is gone, as quickly as she was here. i decided that i am too busy to do a weekly post. i dont have time :/. sorry. i know you all are 'sooo' let down....ha.


work. well, im just going to give it a rest. im done talking about it. for now. many new things have occurred, but not in the mood to talk about it. its the weekend for gosh sakes.


am on call this weekend. need some money. not happening so far. hm.

are you kidding me?

so, the rest of my day....went kinda like this. down the tubes. eh.

j boss called me in the office and more or less 'reprimanded' me for being 'too quiet' and not 'being myself'.wtf. seriously? i cant win in this place. did you seriously just call me in the office to 'yell' at me for being quiet? so i am having an off day. none of my patients suffered. i put on a smiley face for them-and even managed to make it real for them, most of the time. i ended up crying hysterically in the office. you know, that kind of crying that you do when you do when you are doing everything in your power to NOT cry-biting your tongue or the side of your cheek? and then you end up crying that much harder? yep. that was me. gah. shoot me now. needless to say-it didnt help. but.....your nice words of encouragement did t. :)

and thank you steph, for the email. i needed it.

my mom and i then went to look at a possible reception venue-that was exciting. it was beautiful. i am fairly certain it is 'the one', but i will probably check out one or two other ones....

jae had a soccer game-which was the last thing i wanted to do, but i find that coaching these kids has become such a blessing for me....it gets tiring sometimes, but they put me in such a wonderful mood....i love those girls. and gosh, i sure do miss playing. more than i realized after we stopped to watch a match of older girls. but funny story-i drove to the wrong field......thats how crappy and preoccupied i was today....i showed up at the wrong field and ultimately ended up late for the game. im such a tool. so i flew (like 77mph) on the highway across town to get to the game....it was so bloody hot. and they got their butts kicked, but they made me feel better, just being with them. :)

and then i talked to kell for an hour. its the first day in over 5 months that i havent seen him!!! ahhhh! craziness!!!! :( he is my rock.

so not into this

my heart is so not into this. i have always prided myself on leaving my issues at the door. when i come to work-whatever is going on outside of work-or whatever issues are going on at work-it gets left outside of work. b/c i am here for my patients. they need me. they need my love and they need my spirit. they need my calm sense of being. but im having a hard time doing that. i couldnt sleep last night b/c this whole work thing has me all keyed up. i havent been myself all day b/c its bothereing me. and people are noticing. im not my normal bubbly self....and i hate it. and no matter how hard i try to shake it-i cant. im not good at faking.

last night i laid in bed and prayed to God-asking Him to help me trust Him....I keep forgetting that i need to let Him lead me...i can only control so much. so often i try to control it all-and i forget that i cant....so, i am doing my best to let it be and let Him have control, but in the mean time, i am miserable. i just dont want to be here-i love my patients, but i want to lay in bed and just disappear from it all for a while.

torn

i am so unhappy with the job right now. actually, this has been an ongoing saga-for a couple of months. and can i just say that i am one of the easiest people to please? seriously. it doesnt take a lot to make me happy. i get along with everyone. i dont like confrontation, i get along with the most difficult of people, i am one of the hardest working people you'll meet, and even though i am 'young'-i am very responsible. in my department-there are only about 8 other people-that is just in PACU. so its fairly small. and only one is a boy. so of course, there is plenty of drama....i tend to stay away from it. i dont like it. people will complain to me-and ill listen-but i often keep my mouth shut-b/c thats how i roll...but....no matter how i roll....there are a select couple that are out to get me. honestly. they are constantly trying to make my life a livin hell. they already literally drove one employee out-and now they are trying to drive me out, i think. and i hate to say it-but i think its working. at first, i was thinking to myself-i refuse to let them win-but when they put my integrity on the line-thats when i draw the line. when they try to make me look bad-nope. thats when it stops. i am not going to jump thru hoops to try to get these people to 'like' me-when i could care less about them. seriously.agh. the pathetic thing? they are twice my age-old enough to be my mother. and yet i have more maturity than they. yet with any petty issue-they run straight to the boss or behind my back instead of coming to me. not only that, i get so sick of a job that has two different standards. where its one set of rules for this person but a completely different set for that one. i dont want to do this anymore. it is making me hate the profession all togehter. and if you think you all are sick of hearing about all the healthcare issues/costs, etc in the news-welcome to my world, tenfold. on a daily basis, this is what i deal with, in some way shape or form. granted, its what i do-but you can imagine....

i am not happy. my job isnt a job that i can just leave at the desk. or when 4pm rolls around, just 'call it a day'. and it sucks. i try to explain to kelly that there is a start time, but never an end time....nursing has one of the highest burn out rates in any profession-right along side of doctors...ha. i have begun to look for a new job-but its difficult b/c a lot of nursing jobs are split shifts-like 7a-7p and then 7p-7a-and working night shift isnt exactly kosher with my childcare situation.....im giving myself an ulcer stressing about it....:/

a strange place.

i havent had time to write. been quite crazy on my end...

i already missed my 'dear nurse' post for this week and its only my second week. :/ so, the nurse if on vay-cay this week.....she'll be back in the office next week. sorry!

work is a crazy place-which is the reason i have been somewhat MIA-i eat, breathe and sleep work. eh. not by choice.

my garage door is broken and my car is possessed. literally. twice now it has locked my keys in the car and randomly beeps the horn on its own.

am sooo exhaused that i tried to 'drive' in the car yesterday. only i was the passenger. kelly was a bit worried about me. we were turning, and i went to 'grab' the steering wheel-only obviously, being the passenger, there is no steering wheel. it was a very weird moment. im losing my marbles, maybe?

emersyn spent the day in her pj's. i called to check on the kids and kelly says' emersyn was in her jamis all day'. well, it wasnt worth the fight this morning. so she wanted to leave her pretty princess pj's on. i figured there are worse things than letting her run around in public in her princess pjs.

sampson seems to be feeling okay, no more puking poop, but he still isnt himself....im kinda worried, b/c hes been so sleepy and lazy. but we shall see, other than that, he seems well.

yay-i am just about all caught up on bills, finally. a HUGE weight lifted off my chest. like seriously. maybe i can sleep tonight without having a panic attack.


well, i think that is a brief synopsis of my life at this moment.

tired as poop.

literally....ugh. so, the time up north was fabulous. we had a blast. let me give you a quick synopsis:

get up north. take in the sights of the campsite. talk with kelly's dad. go up and unload car. (and some boring unpacking). then we took the lawn mower/tractor and hooked up the trailer to it. put the kids in the back and drove up to the dam. the kids LOVED riding in the trailer, and it was fun for me b/c i didnt have to walk. :) now, dont get me wrong, i like to walk, but i didnt want any wood ticks getting on me. (okay, so ill admit, i hate bugs) sampson was with us. he, too loved his new area. he could roam free. we went 'hiking' on the rocks down by the dam-which was beautiful. sam proved to be quite the animal, he was stone hopping-i was scared a couple times that he'd get whisked away in the current-hes only 8lbs...but he made it. then we went for a boat ride down the river. the river is fairly shallow in lots of spots-so shallow that the boat would rub against the bottom, but it is also quite deep in several spots. so we are careening along, sampson climbs up on the seat next to me at the front of the boat (just a little fishing boat-nothing special) and was taking in the sights. and all of the sudden, he takes a FLYING LEAP off the front into the river. i screamed 'sampson!!!' and then, 'KELLY!!!! jump in, save him!' so kelly dives off the side of the boat, into what we then found out was about 5 feet of water. but the river is really clear, so we thought it was deeper....the girls were laughing hysterically. i could not believe he just jumped in! like it was nothing! it was funny....then the kids swam with kell. i like to swim, but there are approxiamtely 500 thousand crawfish in that river-and i HATE those things. hate. them. so i watched. sampson went swimming as well. we decided that after his little boat fiasco, we needed to see if he could swim. the little turkey! he was holding out on us all along! im talking olympic swimmer. (well, not really, but you get the gist of it) we went in the hot tub and then did regular 'camp' things. like cooked out, roasted marshmallows, watched the stars. a great time.

Warning: those with sensitive stomachs, may not want to continue....this is where it gets, well, kindof stinky.....read on...


so.........friday we got up early to go home. said our goodbyes. about 7 minutes into the trip, kelly says 'i think emersyn just pooped'. naw. i said. its just outside. a couple minutes later, jaelynn screams 'aggggggghhhhh-sampson pooped EVERYWHERE'. i turned around to a waterfall of diarrhea cascading down the middle seat in the back. kelly whips HIS car to the side of the road and we both fly out-yelling for samspon to get out. oh.my.god. ***GAG***. peww. it stunk soo bad. and it.was.everywhere. 20 minutes later....we were ready to venutre on again. sam was quarantined to my lap and the floor. kelly was not very happy. ( i couldnt blame him) sam was acting really wierd. i was worried about him...he started licking his lips like crazy and.....began PUKING poop out of his mouth. all.over.my.feet. and kellys front dash, shifter, etc. oh dear. puking poop. what the hell is going on?!? you mean? waaaiiit. that 'poop' we saw in the back seat-didnt come from his butt....he was puking up stool. well, you all know i am a nurse. and in people, when humans do this (and yes it happens) more than likely they have a bowel obstruction. and this is serious stuff. like life threatning. so we get it all cleaned up and now kelly is seeing red. he doesnt realize how sick sam is. i do. so after driving in silence for about 5 minutes, i told him that this was serious-like he could die serious. and then he started puking again. this time, i got him out the car door in time. i called the vet. we took him to the emergency care place. i was hysterical the whole way home b/c i dont have money to pay for bowel obstruction surgery for my dog. i was fairly certain that should he need surgery, there was a good possibility i may have to put him down.....the emergency care place requires that you pay the cost in FULL on that day. well. most of you know i have been having financial issues. so-i was torn. b/c i love my doggy. but there is no realistic way i can pay for him to have $2000 surgery.....

long story short. sampson is still alive. :) $225 later, and some xrays, they said he does have a questionable bowel obstruction, but hadnt puked anymore and was perking up. he wanted to eat and drink and was his almost normal self....so, i proceeded to take him home and 'monitor' him to see if this blockage can 'un-block' itself. so far, so good. he seems to be feeling better. poor little guy. but who knows what the terd got into.......eh.

we went to my parents shindig and then to watch the fireworks in our town. i was exhausted. so was kelly. i just wanted to go to bed. i spent all day at the vets, unshowered, braless and in my pj's. and on hardly no sleep. the fireworks were supposed to start at 9:30. we got there promptly at 9:30pm. and then we waited. and waited. and waited. 10:15 rolls around and all of the sudden, everyone starts to leave. huh? what is going on? come to find out, they cancelled them b/c of the wind. WHAT?! now i was mad. so we packed up the kids and started walking the 3 miles home. and as we were just about out of the park....the decided to start the fireworks. grrrrrrrrrr. so we stopped in the middle of the road and watched a spectacular show. the girls loved it. when we left, a trumpet was playing an acoustic version of the star spangled banner....and i teared up. i looked at kell, and he, too was teared up. what a day. but you know what, i have my family to come home to, i have a house over my head, and i live in a country where i am free.

i felt upset with myself briefly for being so selfish and whiny. i thought about all of our soliders fighting for us in Iraq and other parts of the country. i couldnt imagine what a day in the life for them is like. and their families.....everytime the phone rings, or someone knocks on the door, i bet their hearts stop briefly. is this it? is this the dreaded phone call?

so, a day late and a dollar short.....to all the troops, fighting so selflessly for mine, and yours freedom. thank you. and a job well done. come home soon.

emersyn.....the dog?

No, wait. that doesnt sound right. emersyn is my 2 1/2 year old child. SAMPSON is my dog. currently, it seems that emersyn thinks she, too, is a dog. yep, thats right. right down to drinking and eating out of a dish. and not complete without her crawling around all fours 'barking'. a sight to see i tell you, a sight to see. this morning, sam was eating his breakfast, and emersyn decides that she wants to drink the water like a dog. and proceeds to start drinking out of HIS dish. luckily, i intervened at just the right moment...... 'EMERSYN!!!!' she popped her little head up at me and gave me her sideways stare-which is the stare that she gives when she knows shes up to no good. 'NO drinking out of sammy's dish'. i tell her. she proceeds to get upset, and tries again. "NO!' i say. (i am secretly giggling, and appalled at the same time-this is like the time i walked into the bathroom to find her dipping a cup into the toilet, and saying 'sammy thirsty' to me) so, i said 'fine-you want to drink out of a bowl?' so i got her a tupperware dish....and she pretended she was a dog the rest of the morning. i couldnt help but laugh....its soooo nice to have a day off! i havent had a day off in...about a month, aside from the weekends.

tomorrow we are going up north to kell's dads. jaelynn is sooo excited. he lives on the river, so we are going to 'camp out' and hang out. am excited. am excited for the whole weekend of family time.

what are your plans for the fourth?