a break in.

theres been a break in. at my house. reports of a shortish in stature, mid-20's in age,female, dark brown/blk hair, was seen climbing through my living room window today. sampson the 'attack dog' promptly jumped out the window after the attacker. nothing was reported stolen.


okay. the real story is this.....i went downstairs in the basement to put some laundry in the wash machine. my basement is connected thru my garage-so i have to go out to the garage and then down to the basement. occasionally, my lock to the house gets 'cockeyed'. so imagine my surprise, when i came upstairs, in my pajamas, and housecoat, and lo and behold, i am locked out of my house. thank god, i had my cell....i called kelly, and asked what to do....all my spare keys were IN the house-doing me no good. also, i have a punch code to my garage, the only time i actually LOCK my door to my house in the garage is at night time, so i dont even KNOW where said key is. the front door keys???? no clue. dont EVER use them. i know--its a horrible thing. anywhoo....kelly says he doesnt know how he's going to help, but he'd come over. meanwhile, im standing in my garage, thinking of how im going to get into my house....suddenly, i get this wonderful idea--i had all the windows open!! i had just steamcleaned the carpets the day before with a rugdoctor, so the carpets were still damp. in an effort to get the carpets to dry faster, i opened all the windows. my bay window is about 6 feet wide and 5 feet tall-give or take. its pretty big. its about 4 1/2 feet off the ground. im only 5'3 and extremely, um, clumsy, as stated in previous posts....so, i called kell and told him id just climb in the window, not to worry. all under control. right. so i go get a chair from the garage. the first chair was too short for my stubbys. there was NOO way i was going to make it in without seriously injuring myself or my female parts. im sure my neighbors were getting quite the spectacle of me....so i opted for a bar stool. this proved risky, as it was quite wobbly. as i perched myself on top of this bad boy, sampson realized that i was outside said window....and comes leaping out at me, full force. almost knocking me down. *insert string of curse words*. crisis narrowly averted, i careened into my living room floor. hmm. that sounds like an action movie. it was more like i crashed into my living room floor and not gracefully. banging my knee on the window frame and heel as well. but, i got in. it was a sight to see, i tell ya. geez.

that crisis averted, we had another very near, and much more serious crisis tonight.....the girls have bunk beds in their rooms. and a ceiling fan. can you see where this is leading??? yeah. not good. well, once again, to keep the air circulating, to help with the damp carpets, the ceiling fan was on. jaelynn had run into her room, which was dark (due to it being 'night time'), and the light wasnt on, but the fan was. she went leaping up her bunk bed ladder for something on her bed, not knowing the ceiling fan was on, and her head/hair hit the moving ceiling fan. i was in the living room, and heard a piercing scream-one that immediately had me on my feet running, and kelly. once i got in the room and realized as she was climbing down the bunk bed what had happened, i immediately started running my hands over her head for blood, sure that she had cut her head.....we NEVER have the ceiling fan on when the kids are in their beds, we will run them until they are ready for bed, and then turn them off, but thats it. and if she needs to go on her bed and the fan is on, she knows to turn it off....but jae not knowing that it was on, and me not realizing that she had gone into her room or onto her bed for that matter, had led to this accident. i felt horrible. luckily, there was no blood, and jae was left with a bit of a goose egg on her hard little head, bless her heart, but she was okay. aye.....i still feel horrible.... :(

emersyn has her first soccer game tomorrow. i bought it up tonight to her to which her response was, 'aw, i dont WANT to play soccer.' so, we shall see if we can get her out there. bribery, anyone???? i post some pics if i can get her out there.... :)

changing it up.

so. after emersyn was born, i decided that i was going to start something new in terms of exercise. yoga? hehe. no. i am the least flexible, most clumsy person you will ever meet. i can barely bend down and touch my toes. okay, i cant. once, when i had sciatica, i was at the doctor's office and my physician was trying to teach me some stretches to do to help get rid of it, and couldnt believe how tight my hamstrings were-thats how unflexible and unstretchable i am. in college gym class (yeah, its a requirement here in wisconsin), we had to do yoga--i am sure i was a sight to see. not to mention, i practically fell asleep doing it. not my thing. i can just imagine the looks i got. of course, at that time, the cutest boy ever was in my class. i even skipped swimming that day bc i didnt want cutest boy ever to see me in a suit. anyway--so, yoga was out. pilates?? you know, that oh-so cool exercising thingy the celebrity's 'swear' by? that thing that promises to make you oh so long and lean? and strengthen your core? so i thought id give it a try. i went and bought a few pilate videos. i loved it. and i was soooo sore the days to follow. talk about core building. aint no lie. and it was 'fast' enough paced to keep my heart rate fairly consistent. well, i decided to pull out the ol' pilate videos again. im all about long and lean baby. i figure biking, running and pilates should whip me into shape. plus the running around i do while coaching with the kids will help. but geesh, i forgot what an ab workout it is!!! i did it yesterday and my abs are soooo sore today! not to mention my arms and legs, but in a good way. definately feelilng the burn.

emersyn had soccer today. she was so cute. she was all gun-ho for the first 5 minutes. and then she ran back to the side line with these big alligator tears and said 'can you play with me'. emersyn is our little shy babe. once shes comfortable around you, shes fine, but she is definately a momma and daddy's girl. so i went out there and played along side her, and she was fine. but it was so cute. shes the youngest on her team. after every activity theyd do, shed look at me and say, 'am i done now?' she had fun, but she was ready for it to be over....i know she just needs to get used to it and then she'll be fine. her and jae are so different in that sense. jaelynn was/is always the first one out there and has always been sooo outgoing and emersyn is more reserved and shy. its crazy how personalities are so different with your children....and how in some ways they are so alike and in others they are so different...but thats what makes them-THEM..... :)

rain, rain, go away....

mother nature and i, we are in a fight. a big one. shes like a sister, constantly teasing. she'll be good to me for a period and then- BAM-out of no where, shes evil. so last week we were blessed with 60 and 70 degree weather, i even got sun burned (!) (i mean, the last time i actually got sun burned by the REAL sun was in high school) and today i wake up to big fluffy snow flurries. what the heck. and according to the weather, its going to be back in the high 70's by the end of the week! what is this craziness?? and of course, due to my sun burn, i got a nice sun blister, aka cold sore. agh. but a nice tan. okay.... i cant really complain, its been unseasonably warm for 'wisconsin april', and i am LOVING every minute of it. i probably put in over 100 miles on my bike this weekend. jaelynn had spring break last week and spent the second half of it in kentucky with my parents visiting my sister and my niece and nephews, who are her age. so she was ecstatic that she got to 'go' somewhere for spring break... so kell, emersyn and i spent every waking moment outside biking and at the park. it was a great weekend, we missed jae, but she had a great time in kentucky, so i am glad for that.

today marks the 8 months until the big 'i do'!!!! its coming up sooo fast! so glad (in hindsight) that i never posted a pic of my wedding dress on here b/c i know kell checks out the blog every now and again. hi baby... :) slowly, but surely things are coming along....paying for things here and there, as we can afford to--its difficult to do since im not working still, but doing the best we can. we started our premarital counseling this past week, the class is different than i expected, as i thought it would be one-on one with a counselor, but for the first 5 weeks, we meet with a large group (10 other couples) and then we do the whole one on one. so, it will be interesting-but a learning experience at best.

i start coaching my soccer team this week. i am excited, this is something i love doing....last year i coached an all girls team, but this year i am doing co-ed. im kinda bummed b/c so far i only have 4 kids. and one of them is jaelynn. they are expecting to add more, but the numbers are down b/c of the economy, since it costs money to play.....emersyn is playing for the first time this year. i am soooo excited to see her play!!! she is growing up so fast! its crazy. yesterday she pulled out her picture albums from when she was first born and was looking at them with me, and watching her and listening her 'explain' each picture to me just blows my mind. its so heartwarming.

accidently fell asleep with emersyn at naptime today and woke up with a migraine. :/ hasnt gone away since then...wierd and somewhat unsettling, so im off to bed.

geesh.....

so i went and paid off the rest of my wedding dress today. yay! its still not in....but hopefully soon....and then jae and i went and saw the hannah montana movie. i loved it. i know, im a dork....but i did. its so rare that they make a good 'kid' movie without 'smut' in it that an adult can enjoy, too. and plus, i love miley cyrus. i dont know why, i just do. i guess it goes back to watching hannah montana shows all the time with jaelynn.....and she is a good role model. i only hope she stays a good role model for young kids....kell and i were talking about that tonight, hes convinced shes going to succumb to the 'hollywood lifestyle', i think she will stay grounded-she has great parents and seems like a well rounded girl. anywho......

its supposed to get up to 65 degrees by the end of the week....woot-woot. sun tanning weather, folks. gonna have to pull out my bathing suit and tanning lotion. just dont come in my back yard spying on me or ill call the cops on you, besides its a scary sight...

talk about tear jerking and awe inspiring......did you watch the biggest loser tonight????? well, if you didnt, go to nbc's website and watch it online....you NEED to see it. several times thru out i was wiping tears away.....and while i am an emotional person, i dont usually cry on this show...jillian never cries, and she like really broke down tonight...it was sad to see the heartbreaks of the family members, and of some of the team members with their strugglesi am telling you, this is a cool show. i mean, it has motivated people near and far to take charge of their lives and make a change. *sigh* guess ill put down the reeses peanut better cup and dig out my running shoes....

for the love of....

loves:

sugar free hawaiin punch on-the-gos. drop them in my water, and its delish.

flight of the conchords. if you've never heard of them-you hAVE the check them out on youtube. they are HILARIOUS.

reeses peanut butter cup-white chocolate. apparently my hips and butt like them to, since every time i eat one, that is where it goes.

junie b jones books. jaelynn has read 3 books in ONE day. (they are like 60 to 120 pgs each!) God save her. junie b jones is a little tyrant....no wonder jae likes her so much ;) hehe.

bubbles. the best invention ever. i love to blow bubbles with the kids outside. hours of entertainment.

oxygen channel. movies(aka chick flicks) every weekend.

thoughts of summer. need i say more?

being in my pajamas, or any comfortable clothes (warm-ups)

going on walks with the kids and kell.

reading.

blue cheese. i have to limit myself these days b/c its on my list of 'no-nos' for my headache diet, but i heart it. i used to eat it with everything. yum.

twilight. you already know that....just had to mention it again. *sigh*.

fruit snacks. i had to stop buying them for jaelynn's lunch b/c i would eat them all. ask ali my sister.....i have a secret, or not so secret, obsession with them. i can eat a whole box of them in one sitting. seriously.

my dyson vacuum cleaner. muy expensive, but i stand buy my splurge. best.vacuum.cleaner.ever.made. this thing is amazing. if you need a new sucker-upper, spend the extra benjamins. you wont regret it. promise.

photography. i love all things photography. black and white, color--you name it. i love looking at great photography.




just a few of some of the things i heart. what about you??? what are things you love??

i could not imagine....

what it would be like to have to sacrifice my own child so that others could live.....how GREAT is God's love for us, that He chose to sacrifice His son so you and i could live. i dont talk about my faith much on my blog, but i just wanted to share that with you....just think about that for a few minutes....if your a parent, doesnt it just make you SICK to your stomach just thinking about it? if someone said to you, 'would you sacrifice your child's life right now for this COMPLETE stranger, for them to live-b/c they are a sinner?' that would be soo hard. and if you arent a parent yet, im sure you can imagine.... THAT is how much God loves us. he DID that. wow. i think its pretty cool.

its over.

the appeal is over. in all honesty, i dont know if i ever have been more nervous for anything in my life. preparation for this involved more preparation than some of my nursing exams. i have learned so much from this experience--not just about my job, but myself. i didnt win my appeal. but you know what, im okay. i really am. it went really well. i did a good job-i knew it was going to be a hard case to fight and win. i am ready to move forward. i wanted to write a few of the lessons that i have learned in this process....

i am a strong woman. and i think i have known it-to an extent, but i think i know it now. i certainly have my days (like last week.....), but on the whole, i have pretty thick skin and can handle some pretty tough stuff.

i have learned who 'my real friends are'. they say that when you go through a tough time, youll know who your real friends are--and its true. i got screwed sooo bad by some people who i thought were my friends--namely former co-workers. that was a real awakening for me. it hurt, as i thought as a lot of these people as 'my family'.

be careful who you trust. perhaps i trust too easily. but, like i said, i got screwed, royally. and that was my own mistake in who i trusted....

i have the most AMAZING family and TRUE friends. in my tough time with losing my job and the past few months, my family and friends have been praying endlessly for me and just THERE for me. it is so cool. i am so lucky. my grandma was praying all night for me last night knowing i had my appeal. everyone in my aunts department was on edge awaiting the results of my appeal--even though they had no idea who i was--just bc they cared about my aunt, and had heard about the 'case'. (my aunt works at the hospital, too) my 2 older sisters were calling me as soon as they thought i would be done, wanting to know how it went. my dad was calling me in the middle of it.....my small group was praying during it and last night. my college gf texted me this evening asking how it went. its been overwhelming. i am sooo thankful to ALL of you, for you thoughts and prayers during this time.

i have learned how much my job means to me.....even though i didnt win my appeal, i have a renewed appreciation for what i do, and it reminded me why i worked my ass of in school to get where i am today.....

i learned that somethings are worth fighting for. again, even though i didnt win my appeal, id do it all over again, even if the end result was the same.

i didnt know how i would feel if i lost, and honestly, when we were done, we didnt think we would lose. it went THAT well. we werent 'cockey', but we were confident. it just went well. but when i got the phone call that i didnt in fact win the appeal, i was sad, but i didnt cry, and i didnt get emotional like i did when i lost the informal appeal. i was okay. i think a part of me is just glad that its OVER. this has been soooo stressful. but i think God is responsible for making me feel 'okay'. well, actually, i know He is. i just am content. thats not to say i wouldnt have elated if they said i got my job back, but i know He has other plans for me.....just like He says.....Jeremiah 29:11.......the infamous verse.... :)

its a new day....

heres to it....




kind of a crazy week. lots going on.

my appeal is on thursday. super nervous. lots of preparation for it. am very hopeful things go my way..... (pray)

its 45 degrees today and i got word that its snowing in georgia. huh, who woulda thought. spring is on its way.

um yesterday, i thought it was 'spring break' for jaelynn and didnt take her to school. until i received a phone call at 1000-wondering why she wasnt in school. oops. wrong week. its not until next week. :)

kell and i are going to meet with our wedding cake lady tomorrow. so i am excited about that.

sampson hasnt gone to the bathroom in the house in over 1 1/2 weeks. WOOOOO! i think hes finally 'potty trained'....


still in my pjs. and will probably remain in them the remainder of the day. is that a problem?

why?

why do we hurt those we love most? and often when amidst our own turmoil? is it to make ourselves feel better? to bring them down with us? you know they are wrong before you speak them-but you speak them anyway. once spoken there is no way to erase the hurt youve caused. it can ruin lives. it can ruin relationships. and it does nothing but make you feel miserable inside but you hurt those you love. it doesnt make you feel better speaking them. it doesnt validate your point-because you were wrong in the first place. so why do we do it? i dont have an answer. i wish i did. because then maybe i could explain to those i hurt why i did it. there is no simple answer except to say that i was wrong and i am so sorry. the damage is done. i cant go back and pull the words back in my mouth as i spoke them.

but i do know this. i am human. however hard i strive to be perfect, i am so far from it--and it clearly shows by my flaws. i have hurt you and for that i am sincerely sorry. i cannot undo what was said but i would if i could. i hope you can forgive me.

checking out....

do you ever feel like just checking out of the world?

i do.

its been a rough week. :/


please pray for me.