getting back in the swing of things

school starts this week. woot-woot. dont get me wrong, i love my baby jae, but always by the end of summer, i am a little bit ready to pull my hair out....she is a very schedule oriented girl. she needs structure. so going 3 months without that day in and day out structure starts to wear on us all by the end of summer.... and she is excited to see all her best girls at school. shes such a little social butterfly....i cant believe shes going to be in 3rd grade! its so crazy. i remember when i was in 3rd grade i learned cursive. and next year emersyn will be in pre-k. it just happens so fast. emersyn will be 4 sept. 21st. you know, people sometimes say, 'if you were to ask yourself ten years ago if this is where you pictured your life, is this where you would have seen yourself?' and i used to say, 'no way.' simply bc i never would have chosen to be a 'single mom' or to do things 'backwards'- i.e. have kids first before getting married, and while i still may not have CHOSEN those things, if someone were to ask me that question now, id say yeah, this is exactly where i see myself. im happy. im content. i have 2 beautiful kids. i have a wonderful family. i have a soon to be husband who would do anything for me, a relationship with God who gets i get stronger with every day. sure, i have done things a bit sideways, backwards and flipsided, but it has made me who i am today, and without those experiences, i wouldnt be half the person i am, or have some of the life experiences or people in my life. and can i just say--how much i love my two kids? man they are great. i love it when they laugh hysterically -not just giggle, but the full on belly laugh. jae loves to watch america' funniest videos, and we make it a sunday night ritual, and i enjoy this time soo much, mostly just to hear her laugh. emersyn gets a giggling non stop when she farts. and then she'll say, 'daddy did you farted'. it just melts my heart. and then when the most random times when emersyn or jae comes up to me and just says, 'i love you mommy.' and when jae takes care of emersyn. one doesnt realize how much goes into making a child. it is truly a gift from God. it is so easy to take my (our) babies for granted....hold them close, squeeze them tight, tuck them in at night.....


please continue to pray for my friends. pray for Gods healing hands. for His strength, His will, His comfort to my friends.

bigger than this world

well. this will be a short post. but i just wanted to post to ask those of you who believe in prayer to pray for some friends of mine. i have to be vague about the situation to protect privacy, but....they are dear, dear friends of mine-who are some of the most amazing people in the world. and they are perhaps dealing with something far bigger than this world than i have ever dealt with and hope to never deal with. so-just pray for them. to be strong-for each other. to rely on God. for His healing hands.

our God is a big God, and i know He will provide for them-it may be in a different way than we want or think, but i know-and thankfully, they do, too, that He will see this through. but that doesnt always make it easier....

please. pray.

would you go?

i dont often blog about my faith- i mean, i talk about it quite a bit, especially with my job situation, but it isnt often the 'topic' of my blog. and actually, i tend to talk about it in my frustration....which i think we often do. but yesterday at church, we had a guest speaker who knocked my socks off. his name was jamie w.he was amazing. he was a retired d.c. cop who was actually recruited by the CIA b/c of his police work on the squad who decided that he he wasnt 'casting his net' far enough. so he turned down the CIA opportunity down, and at that time, took his wife, his 8 yr old, 5 yr old and 10 month old son and moved to Indonesia to serve the people there. He had a calling to reach the Muslim faith specifically. Could you imagine-just up and leaving everything you know and going to a foreign place-with small children, where you can be arrested, and potentially put to death for sharing you faith??? This mans passion, amazed me. It just drew me in, captivated me. He was, in fact, arrested, for something-i cant recall what it was.... And potentially faced 10 years in prison in Indonesia. On the day of his trial, a chair sat empty and he sat before two other court justices in the court room. His wife and him had come to terms with the fact that he was going to go to jail, and she would be taking care of the children. but at the last moment, when asked if there was anyone who wanted to speak as a witness on his behalf, a man came in. it wasnt anyone he knew, but it was clear he was someone highly regarded. he spoke that he was a devout muslim, and when he went to america to get his PHD, it was one of the most prestigious and difficult programs ever. and he couldnt pass. but on the second or third night there, two men came to him and said they wanted to help him, bc they wanted him to succeed. and they did help him. and not only did they help him, but this man became graduated top of the class, even ahead of the two men who helped him. he also shared that every wednesday, they held a study, a bible study. those two men were christians. they wanted to help him, out of the goodness of their hearts, not because he was the 'enemy', bc he was muslim, but because they loved him, despite different religions. The man then looked at jamie and said, you are doing your work, but you are doing it all wrong. we are not your enemy. find another way. and walked out. the court justices looked at each other and said, the charges will be dismissed. jamie walked out of the court room, confused, and the man was waiting outside. jamie said, 'who are you, and what just happened?' the man said, 'do you see that empty chair? that chair belongs to the president of the islam board (or something of that nature), and he was killed yesterday in a car accident. that chair now belongs to me.' and walked away. tell me God doesnt work in mysterious ways.....so they did find another way. they live in indonesia for 8 yrs and moved then to iraq, and then to baghdad. and have changed many muslim lives along the way. casting their nets off the boat into deeper water, doing as God tells them, when He tells them. Man, i want faith like that. i LONG for faith like that. i realized how un-strong i am. i am simply wading in the shallow. i THINK im in the deep end. i realized though, that to cast into the deep end you dont necessarily have to go cross country, or states away--it can next door, or across the street. or the local homeless shelter. or the youth. my own family....myself.....it really stirred me.

so, what about you? will you cast your net like Peter? into deeper waters? would you go, near or far wherever he will lead you?

no child left behind

so. on my june visit home to georgia, m and c were amidst the end of cheerleading camp. they both are high school varsity cheerleading coaches. down south, cheerleading is a big deal-you know, like the kind of cheerleading you see on ESPN? the kids that are involved pretty much live and breathe it. they take tumbling classes and often cheer on separate teams outside of school-if they are 'good' enough. what amazed me was the drama that these parents get involved in. its like something straight out of 'the realhousewives of whatever'...... they dont make their kids take responsibility for their actions any longer, instead, its the constant defending and catering to whatever needs they have. if they do something wrong-and i dont mean something trivial-i mean like something that could get them kicked off the squad; they point fingers at everyone else and make excuses for their kids. its constant disrespecting the coaches. i was absolutely appalled at some of the things i heard during the week i was there thru m and c. i would have never put up with the crap they do-from both parents and kids. when i played soccer in high school, the rules were clear. there was a 'no tolerance' policy. which meant if we were caught drinking or smoking-we were kicked off the team-no questions asked. not only that; i can speak for 99% of the players on my teams parents in that if we would have been caught-our asses would have been grounded for a LONG time, and we would have definately paid the consequences for the actions. again, no questions asked. and it was like this not just for soccer, but for all our sports. that is not the case anymore. m said it best--'no child left behind'. what are we teaching our children?? that they dont need to take responsibility for their actions? that its okay to make a commitment to your team and when you let them down, mommy and daddy will pick up your slack and make it better? or that it doesnt matter? its ridiculous. i was disgusted listening to the moms of some of these girls bad mouth some of the daughters of other moms--these moms, who are supposed to be role models to their own daughters, spewing out all this ugliness. and the disrespect that they give m and c--who bust their butts off all year round for these kids. the time that these two girls put into their coaching, is unbelievable. espcecially during season. they teach/work all day, and then coach every day after school for at least 2-3 hrs. and then every weekend they have games and competitions. in the summer, they have camp all summer. it never ends for them. i dont know what made me think of this today, but i hope that if you are raising young ones that you will not be one of these parents....agh.

moving along. i have a headache. and i am feeling a tad overwhelmed. do you ever get like that? overstimulated? and i have a sore throat. im not sure if im getting a summer cold? i hope not, but im hoping my headache doesnt turn into a migraine....is it bad that im kinda ready for school to start? jaelynn and emersyn have been at each others throats the last few days, so i thought wed get out of the house and go to heckrodt today, which is a nature center/trail today. right. they whined the WHOLE time. i was ready to throw them in the turtle swamp. (not really....but seriously) i mean, i kinda wanted to pull my hair out. my sister maddie was with us b/c i babysit her, and she was freaking out about spiders, jaelynn was freaking out about not stepping on the spiders bc she didnt want to kill them and emersyn didnt want the spiders to crawl on them. and it must have been daddy long leg day, bc they were EVERYWHERE. so we were headed no where fast. finally i told them if anyone said one more word about spiders i was going to put them in their hair. well-it worked. and got them moving. we saw a beaver. cute little guy. and then i took them to the pool this afternoon. but it wasnt all that warm out, but its supposed to rain the rest of the week, so i knew today may be the only day possible the rest of the week....

*sigh* and now im going to cuddle up with the gold coast....im behind on my one-days, but check out my nephew adler, from family night at the packer game. he is a ham.

can you believe it?

i cant believe its already almost the end of august! the summer has flown by. my hiatus was good. my two older sisters, jen and steph were both here-not at the same time, but on separate visits, so i spent some time with family-which is always a wonderful time. i have to say i have such an amazing family. i mean, really. i suppose almost everyone feels that way about their families, but seriously-i am so fortunate to have such supportive, and loving sisters and parents. especially since losing the job-their prayers and moral support has shone through even more. moving along.....its kinda late, ive been hooked on a series of books that you MUST read, if you havent already done... the first-"the girl with the dragon tattoo" and the sequel to it, "the girl who played with fire". i have to say, the first book was kind of slow at first, but once i got into it, i couldnt put it down. and the second one was awesome from the first page. i just finished it before hopping on the computer. next i am starting "the gold coast"-which i have heard is another 'must read'. to finish my post tonight--a series of 'can you believe its':

can you believe--

*summer's almost over

*that there is only 4 months until kelly and i's wedding!!!

*we got locked out of the house today for 2 1/2 hours. (agh. long story)

*the cost of my prescription medicatios monthly is over $300(!)

*its been 10 years since ive graduated high school already?

*ive lost 14lbs. (yay!)

*i have never and will never try sushi. (ew)

*brett favre came out of retirement for the SECOND time and signed on with the friggin' VIKINGS??????? (dont get me started)

*ive lived a good portion of my life in wisconsin and have only down hilled skiied once-and that was only on the 'bunny hill'

*i used to be frequent raves on a weekly basis?

*me and a girlfriend were chased by a homeless man one night when i lived in atlanta (quite scary incident)

*my license was suspended for speeding a while back....-i live on cruise control these days....


alright. ill stop there.....it feels good to be back in the blogosphere....i have a picture on my one-a-day, but its actually not from today, but from this past weekend. be sure to check it out.

she's back........

yes. i am back. after my hiatus, i am feeling refreshed and wonderful. not going to post today, bc i need to catch up on all my favorite blogity blogs! but no fears friends, maybe tonight, but for sure tomorrow. i missed you all and the blogging world.....its crazy, how attached you become to this cyber world and the friends you make on here.....

blogger break

well, im taking a break from this blog. probably not too long, but there are some things going on that need tending to-and need my full attention. not that this blog requires 'a lot' of attention, but i just need to re-focus on other things at this point and need as little distractions as possible....so. i have a favor of all you blogger friends......and that is to pray for me, and my family. pray for me to trust God whole heartedly and lean heavily on Him. and to seek answers, not force them.....


so, i will be back. until then, hope you all are well.