heat wave baby

yep. it was a whopping 40 degrees outside today...absolute craziness-you know you live in wisconsin....when its 40 degrees, heck even 30 degrees, and you think its WARM out!!! ah! but, lets not get too excited here, they are calling for 'blizzard like' condidtions tomorrow-like 35 below zero, etc....what!? seriously. whatever. grrr. so much for that.....

so, its official. i am the meanest.mom.ever. according to jaelynn...she called gramma on me and everything....lets set the scene....i worked all day. came home. spent 1 1/2 hours making dinner-rice, chicken teriyaki w/fresh mushrooms, broccoli, peppers, onions. i was pretty proud. (i dont make 'big' meals that often b/c there is never time). now that kell's around more, i have someone to keep the kids preoccupied-so i can ACTUALLY make dinner....so in my mind, i had it all planned out....kell brings kid's home, sit down as a family, have a great dinner, no yelling or raised voices, clean up after dinner, spend time as a family, go to bed, etc....you know. thats the problem. i set myself up- i should know by now that my life = chaos. it is everything but planned. thats not necessarily a bad thing, but you know how it is when you have something 'planned' in your mind-when things go awry-it makes it even worse bc its so not what YOU had in mind...dinner was anything but. it consisted of jaelynn whining the WHOLE meal-about anything and everything....finally, after many second chances (i am the QUEEN of second chances), i sent her to her room and cleared her spot. i told her no snacks-that was IT....emersyn wouldnt even stay in her chair, so she too, was excused. she, however, was perfectly content-and went on her merry way to the toy room... agh. so, i sent not, one, but two kids, to bed without dinner. and now here i sit, crying, because i feel like such a bad mom....BUT, it was a HUGE step for me, too because i always SAY 'no snacks bc you didnt eat' and end up feeling bad-and give in. not tonight. im sick of it. i dont want picky eaters-who eat a select few things. so far, i admit, i often cater to the kids-bc its 'easiest'...but emersyn's starting to get picky-and jae is a grazer. no more 'nice mom'. i just want healthy eating habits for them....agh. the things i stress about. so that just set the tone for the night...jae whined and cried all night. she called gramma. thank you mom for backing me up....

so now i am sad. i guess im in one of those moods. seriously, life is great. it really is. but sometimes, i just need to cry and be sad-even if for no apparent reason. then i sat down and started watching 'intervention'-my new favorite show.... whoa. then i really started crying. major tear jerker. makes me soooo thankful that i have such a wonderful family and support system....i love you all. but i was peeved by the parents of this chic who they were 'intervening' on. so, the daughter is a lesbian. everyone who knows me, knows how i feel-i believe that in the eye's of God, homosexuality is wrong. HOWEVER, no sin is greater than the other. sin is sin. we are all just as guilty. and i have friends-and family who are homosexual. i may not share the same beliefs as them, and they know that, but i still LOVE them and respect them, bc that is what i am called to do. so my beef is this, her father, namely, was SOOOO against her being a lesbian, and constantly condemned her to hell, and cursed her and said some pretty horrible things because of her orientation and claims to be a 'christian'. but, he cheated on his wife and had an affair. and continues to live with his new girlfriend-unmarried. um. tell me whats wrong with this picture? i think of the verse that i heard in church yesterday in matthew 7:3; 'why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the log in YOUR eye'. what kindof example is he to his child??? he condemns her for her sin, but condones his own. the point is, NEITHER of them are okay. they are BOTH wrong in God's eyes. his ignorance made me sooo mad....agh.

so thats my bitch session for the eve. on a lighter note.....

had a GREAT weekend. got ALL my laundry done, folded and put away. played in the snow with the kids on saturaday. went on a date with kelly saturday night-had a FABULOUS time just being with eachother. went to church yesterday, went sledding with my parents and maddie. kell's sisters, nephew and brother in law came sledding, too. was a great time. then went to kell's moms and visited. played yahtzee. havent played that game in forver! fun, fun. slept SOOOOO hard. hard work carrying emersyn up and down the sledding hill-since she wouldnt let anyone but me carry her....kinda sore today. :) thats it....

happy number **133***

that is, according to shape magazine, my happy weight. hm. i am still trying to decide if i am, well, "happy" with that number. after a series of calculations and questions like 'add 4 points if you've had a baby' and 'subtract 2 if you exercise at least 3 times a week,' etc....this is my number. the burning question is...are we EVER happy with our weight? i vividly remember being in high school and weighing 120 lbs. (omg, i would do ANYTHING to weigh that much again!) and thinking i was 'fat'. seriously. the guys called me 'thick' and loved my ghetto booty. (ed note-even then i had my latin ghetto booty.) i was never skinny-and i never wanted to be, but i was always 'bigger' than everyone in my family....i have 5 gorgeous sisters. i have always had the classic latin curves-you know, big'ger' boobs, small waist and hips and ass. it seemed that i always attracted either black guys or latin guys (is it me or do these boys seem to like curves more than gringos??--im NOT trying to be sterotypical-but i have always attracted the likes of these boys more...and i LOVE these boys :)just ask my closest friends-but i dont discriminate.)i look back on my pictures from high school and even college (i.e. PRE-baby days) and ask myself WHAT, WHAT was i thinking? i was NEVER fat. i was HOT!!!!!! :) i mean, i looked good. i wasnt too skinny, and i wasnt too fat. i was in fabulous shape-played soccer year round and worked out regularly. how i looked then-is how id like to look now....why is it that we are never satisfied? it could be given to me on a silver platter-and id probably still think it wasnt good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, tall enough, or whatever....agh. i try to 'embrace' my curves, and kelly loves them. he likes to 'jiggle' my fat on my thighs. i cant stand it. for whatever reason he loves it. ew. so not hot. 133??? hm. the more i think about this number, maybe i AM happy with that number. i have conceded that no matter how hard i try to starve myself (which i assure you i am really not doing) i wont ever be no 120 lbs again....and i dont think i want to be. but i think 133 might be a good number for me. what am i now??? ill never tell. but when i get to 133-itll be national news....i put a big piece of paper on my fridge screaming '133'. motivation people. and i even started a food journal. yep. this is serious business, this number 133. i got the exercise part down, i just need to eat better.....so, here's to my new favorite number, the number thats going to make me "happy"....ladies and gentlemen, number ***133****.

oh my aching back

literally...so its no surprise that we got a snowstorm-about oh-6-7 inches....yesterday i got to go home early from work because one of the surgeons was sick-so half of the days cases were cancelled. sweet. i was tired anyway-got to work at 5am and had been up late watching the packers-lose... ( i dont want to talk about it :(). went grocery shopping, cleaned house-laundry, cleaned bathroom, did dishes, vacuumed, etc. was feeling extremely productive. so kell says hes gonna go shovel his house and then mine. i was feeling so productive that i wanted to help, too. normally-this is no big deal bc we can just get the kids in their snow gear and they can play while we shovel. however, due to the fact that it is still below 0 weather-thats just not happening...so kells mom generously said shed watch the girls while we did our thing. now, i just want to put it out there-if you've never shoveled more than 3 inches of snow-youve never shoveled. period. its hard work. i was bound and determined to show kelly up bc he was teasing me saying that i wouldnt be able to hang with him. whatever. i work out 3 times a week. dont underestimate these guns. well, its been a while since i have done some serious shoveling....about 3 years....i was stripping my snow gear off within 10 minutes bc i was sweating. and huffing and puffing. but i wouldnt be stopped. ladies-you know how it is when you are 'challenged' by a man....crap. my back was KILLING me. note to self-time to do some extra sets on the back extension machine. like 10. occasionally kell would stop and just watch me...and say 'baby, you want to know an easier way....' who knew there was a system to shoveling. but i finally gave in to my stubborness and he showed me his strategy. amazing. it cut the work i was doing in half-and it wasnt so hard on my back...an hour later-we did it. my driveway and sidewalk were done, as well as his. i have to say-i watched kell for a few clips at a time when i was trying to catch my breath and stretch my back out-he is amazing. i really need to post a pic of his body. you would all die. i dont understand why his back wasnt falling off...but he informed me that he does physical labor all day...which is true. hes a bricklayer aka masonRY. not masonARY. masonRY. thats tough work. we had a blast though. who knew that shoveling could be so fun! we bonded over this. i 'accidently' shoveled a few shovels full of snow on his face. oops. ;) and then we went and hung out at his ma's for a bit. all in all, a great day. crazy thing is-on the news they were saying that yesterday is the most depressing day of the year! and mine was fabulous. so i awoke to my back muscles and my hamstrings (not so sure why they hurt) SCREAMING at me this morning. jaelynn was kind enough to give mom a mini massage in bed this morning. kell slept on my couch and he attempted to help stretch my hams out. i cant even straighten them out! wtf! time to enroll in a yoga class. seriously. i am the most unflexible person ever.

made a huge list of 'long term "to do's"' and hung it on the fridge...my goal is to do at least one a week on my day off....

i have not one, but 2, child prodigys...jae has always given everyone a run for their money with her intelligence, but emersyn is not far behind!!! (obviously they take after their oh-so intelligent mother) jae is fascinated by the human body, so for xmas i bad bought her this cool 3d human body book from the discovery store. its quite neat. every time you turn the page, it unveils another layer/body system in great detail. well, it has become a favorite in this house by all. 'snuggle' to emersyn means book time. so before her nap this morning, she bought me the body book. she knows where the heart is, the brain, and the ureters. :) and says them all clear as day! its sooo cute! we point to each body part, the veins, the arteries-and she repeats them all....i am so amazed by the capacity of this little brain!!! you could teach children ANYTHING! i can see it now....she is gonna be a doctor, just like jae :). i adore my kids. yesterday was such a great day-right down to the last minute it...it sometimes scares me how much i can love something, or someone, or someoneS...i remember before emersyn was born, when i was pregnant with her, i used to lay in bed with jaelynn and cry, literally cry because i was sooo afraid that i couldnt love them BOTH the same....i didnt know how i could HAVE that much love for jae-and whether or not i would HAVE enough love for emersyn, too....its amazing how it just all falls into place-and you just love them both with all you have....i still freak out a bit sometimes when i think about a possible number 3 baby....the same thing-can i give them all enough love? and still be sane? but i have to say-having parents i.e. kell and i, and not just doing it on my own-makes all the difference in the world....its so much easier to make dinner, clean the house, get stuff done and ENJOY life-when its not just ME.....i love him.....and appreciate him sooo much.....i am so lucky :) (dont be jealous bc i got it good. it took forever to get it!!)

abc of....ME!

A - Age: 26
B - Band listening to right now: hm. that varies WIDELY. i am kind of a r&b kinda girl-but kell HATES it (ed note:crazy b/c when i first met kell waaayy back in the day-i.e. 8th grade; HE was hardcore rap r&b-and thats when i got into it) i like r&b/hip hop because its great to dance to...but i really just like it all and have found myself listening to alot of rock/soft rock as a result of kellys influence...
C - Career future: currently a registered nurse, or poop picker-upper or drug pusher-among several other things. i wouldnt mind the 'stay at home mom' career. however-i do want to be in charge-so maybe going back to school to get my healthcare admin degree.
D - Dad’s name: jesus. no-not 'jesus' like in the bible, jesus as in spanish...
E - Easiest person to talk to: this depends on the situation-but kell pretty much heres it all-whether he wants to or not.., and meg. she knows it ALL.
F - Favorite type of shoe: much to my dismay, my fav shoes include at least a 2 inch heel, however i have found it quite difficult to truck thru 3 inches of snow with black patent leather heels (they are hot) with my 35 lb. baby on my hip....(what was i thinking)
G – Grapes or Grapefruit: Grapefruit. funny that i am currenty on a grapefruit spree. i LOVE them.
H – Hometown: menasha, wi. and i am back.....probably forever...
I – Instrumental talent: I took piano lessons for many years and the violin. was pretty good at both i must say. but once i got in high school-there were much more important things to be involved in (like boys)

J – Juice of choice: cranberry
K – Koala Bear or Panda Bear: hm. probably a koala bear. i have heard that pandas are the devil.
.L - Longest car ride ever: ugh. many trips to and from georgia to wisconsin....20 hr drive. 5 sisters=no fun.
M – Middle name: jean. dont discriminate.
N - Number of jobs you’ve had: first job was at a hardware store. i was a hit. think about it-15 yrs old, only female in an all male store....then i was a cashier at kroger. then i worked at blimpie/tcby in the gas station. loved this job. i ran the place....then deckers-which became my home. then the golf course-as a beverage cart girl-made mad money. couple other admin jobs....then the pediatricians office and now the hospital.

O- OCD traits:ah. cleaning. the bathroom. alot. i like a clean house. cant stand dust either.
P - Phobia[s]: big bugs, spiders. eek.
Q - Quote: everything happens for a reason....(like you didnt see that one coming)

R - Reason to smile: kelly just walked in the door. :)
S - Song you sang last: the dora theme song....(you know your a mom when....)
T - Time you wake up: eh. depends on my work schedule. however, 'sleeping in' in my house consists of a 7:30 am wake up time....
U - Unknown fact about me: i was born with a high frequency hearing loss. thats fancy terminology for-i cant hear...
W - Worst habit: biting my nails and playing with my hair.
X - several-my elbow was my most recent-dont ask. my left foot from a soccer injury, several chest xrays for my constant bronchitis bouts...
Y - Yummiest food my belly likes: starbucks caramel frappucino, which i am currently indulging in. (and i wonder why i cant lose weight)
Z - Zodiac sign: pisces.

ive learned....

that justs because it looks good, doesnt mean it tastes good...(and vice versa)

that my life experiences have made me who i am today...

that my girls are more like me than i sometimes realize...

that love sometimes hurts

that my parents know best

that i cant make it in this world without God

that i can cook

that i dont have to have a reason to not like someone..

that people change

the art of courtesy flushing :)

that laughing is vital

that God doesnt always give us a reason

that my kids are my world

that money doesnt grow on trees....(but i wish it did!)

my life really isnt 'so bad'

that laundry doesnt do itself-no matter how long you ignore it

that trying to have a conversation with a guy during a sporting event is a moot point

that i cant control a lot of things

patience

that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story

that trust must come first.

that i am loved

that when i am sick, i still want my mommy

that i want to get married

that happiness is what you make it.

if chalk gets left out in the rain, it will melt

that i take life for granted-no matter how i hard i try not to...

a parents love is unconditional-no matter what you do

that 'my time' isnt a given anymore-i get it if im lucky...

to be less selfish

you get what you give.

that there are ALWAYS little ears around, even when you think they arent paying attention...

that there is such thing as cleaning a beta fish bowl TOO much-and if you do, it will die.

that high school was great.

that i have amazing friends.

to never settle.

that if i want to lose weight-im gonna have to work at it....i cant will it away

first impressions DO matter.

that you can learn a lot about someone in the first 5 minutes of your conversation....

that i have an amazing boyfriend who does soo much for me.

that i want to make a difference in the world. i dont want to simply exist.

shout out to you al pal...

so my sister ali is leaving tuesday morning for ecuador for FOUR MONTHS to study abroad. :( i am so very excited for her-and the opportunities she will encounter, but i am scared, too....its just so far away-and for a long time! we have a fairly close knit family-and ali and maddie are the babies, so i brag on her like my own...i have five sisters, and two parents. and one gay dog named oscar. al is 8 years ( i think) younger than myself-but more mature than me on some days....she is wise beyond her years-although she personally hasnt had crazy life experiences-she has lived thru them thru her 5 crazy sisters.....as she said in her graduation speech-she didnt need to make any mistakes, because we all did for her..... :) she is crazy smart-she even skipped a grade. she is beautiful-inside and out. she is someone i look at and can only hope my kids will be like her....she will make a difference in the world-she really will. she has taught me alot, even though i am the 'big' sister.....i am going to miss you while your gone al pal, but i know you will be leaving one of your many marks. maybe you'll even meet the man of your dreams.... :) as long as his name isnt 'iamfree' (remember at uncle rueben's)-you cant go wrong. dont forget to bring me home a gift. ;) and have fun. but be safe. dont talk to strangers.--and dont forget your anti-diarrhea medicine. i love you!!!!


okay, had to get that out....i am not any better in my illness. in fact, last night i was up the majority of the night. jaelynn even woke up on several occasions and said 'cant you please quiet down'-like i was having a coughing fit on purpose. i even went as far as standing outside in my long pj shirt-inhaling cold, fresh air, in hopes to 'decrease the inflammation' in my bronchioles.... whatever. didnt work. agh. i.am.miserable. went to the dr-got antibiotics and cough medicine with codeine, so there is hope for sleep tonight...


so, not only did the packers WIN last night, but dallas LOST-which means we get home field advantage!!! WOOOOOO! i will be going to the game-providing that my father gets enough tickets from our 'inside man'....and we all know who that is. good to have friends (or family) in high places ;) this is soooo exciting. i cant wait. the packers are probably going to the SUPERBOWL!!! even emersyn is excited. for the first 15 minutes of the game last night-she was afraid of kell-bc he was going crazy.... but once she realized that he really wasnt going crazy-she started in on the fun. she went around high-fiving me kell and jae-and yelling 'go packers'. she would randomly yell at the tv, too. it was soo cute....and now i have 2 packer fans in my kids. yes! :)

oh.no.she.didnt.

oh yes...she did. she, being me of course. i bought store hair color. yep. i have gone cheap. i can no longer justify spending over $100 on getting my highlights-when i like them for all of but one week-and then get bored with it....and guess what-i like it. the color turned out great. so, i know its been like-2 weeks since my last post...life has been wonderfully unexciting. this week has had some excitement. my body is currently being possessed by this 'wonderful' illness called bronchitis....ugh. going on one week. i have NO voice-havent for like 3 days now. trying to talk expends as much energy as my normal 3 1/2 mile run. seriously. i think the kids are enjoying it-bc mom cant yell. kelly probably is, too.

i finally painted my kitchen. yay! and i did it all by myself. well, kelly helped with the wall above the cupboards....of course, there has to be a story somewhere in all this.....so, i get home from work one afternoon-jae was still at school and emersyn was with kell, so i figured it'd be a good time for me to finish my painting up....kell says he and emersyn will come over in a little bit to help. no problem. the more the merrier....so here i am, painting away. the color is a brown/taupe color. knock knock. oh yay. kell and emersyn are here. my paint dish is on the ground. no prob-sampson is sleeping in my lap anyway-not worried about it. i open the door and in come kelly emersyn and......ozzy. ozzy is kellys fluff ball of a chiuahuah. who hates sampson. who sampson loves to terrorize. so, all at once, sam is chasing ozzy and lo and behold-ozzy runs away----only to run straight into the paint dish. and all over my kitchen floor. now. big deal, right? just wipe it up... um no. not that easy. the previous owners of my house-for whatever crazy reason-put indoor/outdoor carpeting over the beautiful hardwood floors. so there is carpeting in my kitchen. suddenly i have little brown paint footprints all over my kitchen.....crap. this is great. just great. i have planned on getting the woodfloors refurnished-however when the money is there.....looks like i will have to do this sooner than later....your probably thinking i freaked out. actually- i didnt. at all. what are ya gonna do? i was pretty proud of myself for keeping my cool...

today is the packer game. i am so excited. it is 1:15 in the afternoon, the game starts in exactly 2 hours. only in the state of wisconsin do we packer fans get this pumped up. this morning kelly was on his way to get his hair cut and saw a boy running up and down the road with a huge packer banner and a cheesehead hat attacking cars.....jaelynn has her brett favre jersey on and emersyn is clad in her long sleeve packer shirt. emersyn even yells, 'go packers'. i love it. carrying on the packer tradition....i dont know what ill do if they lose....it makes me nauseated to think about it. i mean, this is like a family affair. people all over the state of wisconsin plan their lives around these kind of events. im sure some of the surgeons i work with probably are even planning surgery around this. whats even crazier-is that before the game and after the game-the hospital ER is crazy-but during the game-come hell or high water-doesnt matter if you are having a heart attack or stroke-you cant miss the game....you may be laughing-but i am serious!!! this is like a way of life. i know its crazy. you have to be a packer fan to understand.

well, my fellow friends, i need to take a shower and prepare for the game....my spot on my couch awaits me. along with a nice cold beer. thats another thing-you cant watch/or go to a game without drinking a nice cold beer.....this is wisconsin, after all....go pack go!!!!!!

new year, schmoo year

so, i dont know about you guys, but i was nestled in my bed asleep as the clock stroke 12 on new years eve.....and that is fine with me. i am getting too old to stay up that late to count down to zero...and then its all done.... dont get me wrong, new years eve is great, but kell and i were talking about how like 7 years ago-new years was such a 'big deal' for ourselves. you know, where we were going, what we were wearing, who was driving, all that junk. crazy how life changes....instead we went to my parents and enjoyed some good soul food and played an all time favortie of mine....catch phrase. now i am the ultimate champion at this game, so dont get any ideas about challenging me-because ill whoop ya ;). i enjoyed a few glasses of asti with my madre-and was in bed by 1030 pm. meghan text me shortly after midnight with 'happy birthday'-what a goober. she claims she had a little too much wine. i claim she had a lot too much of wine....thats okay, very meghan :) (love you meg) the next day jaelynn was up by eight. i was sooo tired, still recovering from my weekend working-which was absolute craziness, i must say. she was a doll and let me sleep until 930!! i cant remember the last time i got to sleep that late.

today was jaes first day back at school. she claimed winter break 'was not long enough'. i told her it was PLENTY long enough....kelly is sick :(. very sick. my poor baby. and now it seems as though emersyn may be getting what he has. dandy. jae was coughing for a half hour before she fell asleep. agh. i hope they arent all gonna be sick....tis the season...yeah, life is fairly dull at the moment-and thats not a bad thing. headed to the y manana to get my workout in. yay. got my new running shoes (which i actually bought about one month ago and havent used yet)-and i will be off. kelly says he is gonna start running with me, too. how fun. seriously. trying to convince him to do a half marathon in green bay this spring.....i better not push my luck, around the block is pushing enough at this point.....keep your fingers crossed!