happy number **133***

that is, according to shape magazine, my happy weight. hm. i am still trying to decide if i am, well, "happy" with that number. after a series of calculations and questions like 'add 4 points if you've had a baby' and 'subtract 2 if you exercise at least 3 times a week,' etc....this is my number. the burning question is...are we EVER happy with our weight? i vividly remember being in high school and weighing 120 lbs. (omg, i would do ANYTHING to weigh that much again!) and thinking i was 'fat'. seriously. the guys called me 'thick' and loved my ghetto booty. (ed note-even then i had my latin ghetto booty.) i was never skinny-and i never wanted to be, but i was always 'bigger' than everyone in my family....i have 5 gorgeous sisters. i have always had the classic latin curves-you know, big'ger' boobs, small waist and hips and ass. it seemed that i always attracted either black guys or latin guys (is it me or do these boys seem to like curves more than gringos??--im NOT trying to be sterotypical-but i have always attracted the likes of these boys more...and i LOVE these boys :)just ask my closest friends-but i dont discriminate.)i look back on my pictures from high school and even college (i.e. PRE-baby days) and ask myself WHAT, WHAT was i thinking? i was NEVER fat. i was HOT!!!!!! :) i mean, i looked good. i wasnt too skinny, and i wasnt too fat. i was in fabulous shape-played soccer year round and worked out regularly. how i looked then-is how id like to look now....why is it that we are never satisfied? it could be given to me on a silver platter-and id probably still think it wasnt good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, tall enough, or whatever....agh. i try to 'embrace' my curves, and kelly loves them. he likes to 'jiggle' my fat on my thighs. i cant stand it. for whatever reason he loves it. ew. so not hot. 133??? hm. the more i think about this number, maybe i AM happy with that number. i have conceded that no matter how hard i try to starve myself (which i assure you i am really not doing) i wont ever be no 120 lbs again....and i dont think i want to be. but i think 133 might be a good number for me. what am i now??? ill never tell. but when i get to 133-itll be national news....i put a big piece of paper on my fridge screaming '133'. motivation people. and i even started a food journal. yep. this is serious business, this number 133. i got the exercise part down, i just need to eat better.....so, here's to my new favorite number, the number thats going to make me "happy"....ladies and gentlemen, number ***133****.