torn

i am so unhappy with the job right now. actually, this has been an ongoing saga-for a couple of months. and can i just say that i am one of the easiest people to please? seriously. it doesnt take a lot to make me happy. i get along with everyone. i dont like confrontation, i get along with the most difficult of people, i am one of the hardest working people you'll meet, and even though i am 'young'-i am very responsible. in my department-there are only about 8 other people-that is just in PACU. so its fairly small. and only one is a boy. so of course, there is plenty of drama....i tend to stay away from it. i dont like it. people will complain to me-and ill listen-but i often keep my mouth shut-b/c thats how i roll...but....no matter how i roll....there are a select couple that are out to get me. honestly. they are constantly trying to make my life a livin hell. they already literally drove one employee out-and now they are trying to drive me out, i think. and i hate to say it-but i think its working. at first, i was thinking to myself-i refuse to let them win-but when they put my integrity on the line-thats when i draw the line. when they try to make me look bad-nope. thats when it stops. i am not going to jump thru hoops to try to get these people to 'like' me-when i could care less about them. seriously.agh. the pathetic thing? they are twice my age-old enough to be my mother. and yet i have more maturity than they. yet with any petty issue-they run straight to the boss or behind my back instead of coming to me. not only that, i get so sick of a job that has two different standards. where its one set of rules for this person but a completely different set for that one. i dont want to do this anymore. it is making me hate the profession all togehter. and if you think you all are sick of hearing about all the healthcare issues/costs, etc in the news-welcome to my world, tenfold. on a daily basis, this is what i deal with, in some way shape or form. granted, its what i do-but you can imagine....

i am not happy. my job isnt a job that i can just leave at the desk. or when 4pm rolls around, just 'call it a day'. and it sucks. i try to explain to kelly that there is a start time, but never an end time....nursing has one of the highest burn out rates in any profession-right along side of doctors...ha. i have begun to look for a new job-but its difficult b/c a lot of nursing jobs are split shifts-like 7a-7p and then 7p-7a-and working night shift isnt exactly kosher with my childcare situation.....im giving myself an ulcer stressing about it....:/