deep thoughts.

my mind is in a million different places tonight, so bear with me.....and i have so many things to catch up on......first things first.

my wedding dress came in today!!!!! yay!!!!! i am sooo excited. i cant wait to go see it. and try it on. eek.

i have had a migraine for 6 days. today wasnt so bad. i think im over the hump, but im on steroids now, so i think thats why....i didnt hardly sleep last night though, or for the last 5 days b/c of it. it was a bad one, i was actually scared. its been so long since ive had one and i 'forgot' how to 'cope' with it and i kinda freaked out. but i had so much energy today from the steroids and am probably not going to be able to sleep now--not from the headache, but from the steroids. agh.

jaelynn's hermit crab, poppy, died yesterday. we had a burial for her today in the backyard. she was hysterical. :( it was heartbreaking. she blamed herself for it dying and i felt soo bad. i tried to convince her she died of old age, that she was a grandma crab. it was really sad though, b/c she was just truly hysterical--i mean she never took care of the darn thing, but bless her heart.....i hate seeing my kids hurt. you just want to protect them from it.

did ya'll watch the season premiere of john and kate plus 8????? talk about disheartening.....it sure seems like john has checked out of the marriage. and you know, kate can be a bitch, but no one deserves to be cheated on. and who knows what the REAL story is. who CARES what the real story is. the bottom line is--its the KIDS that are going to suffer. but it is sad to see that john doesnt seem to 'care' or want to try to work things out. people say things like, 'its reality'. no, its not reality. what happened to your wedding vows, you know those things you took when you got married??? to love each other in sickness and health? for better or worse? til DEATH DO US PART????? why do people just walk away from the committment of marriage? it makes me sick. divorce is not a reality. its a cop out. im sure i may offend people with this, but its how i feel. when i get married to kelly--its for life. thats it. its not going to be easy. i know that, kelly knows that--everyone knows that. but we are committed to each other and our family, and we love each other. forever. i sincerely hope that they are able to work things out. *sigh*. okay....sorry, had to get that off my chest.....

i had a job interview last week. it went well. man i hope i get the job. i mean, i really hope i get the job. i mean, i think id sell my body for the job. jjjjjussssst kidding. just seeing if you were paying attention. :) but just thinking about it is giving me an anxiety attack. i dont know how much longer i can handle this not having a job thing.

i leave for georgia in 1 1/2 weeks. i can hardly contain my excitement. gah! seriously, i think i need a sedative.

um yes. i decided to hop on my parents wii fit last night. if i didnt have a body complex before, i certainly do now. my wii fit age is 48! AND pon completing my 'profile', they made my mii chubby!!!! that was based on my current BMI and weight. WTF! okay, so yes, i have stated that i am fluffy, but they actually made my mii chubby!!! i dont need them to confirm what i already know ! geesh! i vowed to go home and starve myself. i need to make my mii skinny. ( the wii-mii and the real me).....

well, wrapping things up, i dont know i got myself into tonight, but im am an itchy mess. its ridiculous. so, im signing off for now. peace out. :)