chaos=my life

sigh....the day is over....happy monday, huh. let me tell you-who knew i had a bladder the size of lake winnegago....i hate those days that its soo busy you dont get to pee-literally. surely-you are thinking-you can take 4 minutes out of your day to pee! surely-i assure you-there are days when it doesnt happen. so obviously-if i dont have time to pee in a day-then i really dont have to eat anything....yeah, that sucks you are thinking. at the end of my shift-i have to pee so bad it hurts-literally, and im so hungry i could eat anything. its amazing how good stale rice cakes taste in a pinch. agh. sure, i like busy days-but not soo busy that your bladder expands to 10X's its normal size..... and of course-im on call tonight, which means more than likely-ill get called in...thats my luck. and if THAT doesnt top it off-they asked me to come in at 5:30a.m. on tuesday. agh. i should have said no, but im just too nice. let me tell you-i am so excited.

quick recap of the weekend.....im gonna go backwards

sunday: went to church, jaelynn had her church xmas concert. shes so lovely! was precious as always. love watching the little kids-like 4-5yr olds do embarassing things or yell out to their parents. the innocence-it is so humbling. went home after church-took a nap/half watched packer game. in the evening, kell came over and took jae to air it up with just the two of them. so-emersyn and i decided to run to the mall. i had to return a few items, and needed to get out of the house. so me and emersyn packed up-well, at the last moment, i decided to bring sampson bc i knew it was going to be quick and sam likes car rides. so i go in and do my thing. we get back out to the car and i put emersyn in her carseat-put keys in front seat. close doors. put stroller in trunk. freezing my butt off. its like 10 degrees-plus whatever the wind chill is..... go to get in my car- and lo and behold....my doors are locked....with my child in it. the car is NOT on, i have NO coat on-just a hoodie. crap. i have a moment of panic...how did this happen??? thinking to myself-i KNOW i didnt lock the doors....my keys are sitting on my seat....wtf? thank goodness-had my phone in my pocket....called kelly....he yells at me in his panic bc he thinks his daughter is going to die of hypothermia-even though she is at least IN the car, with her winter coat on, blanket wrapped on her AND hood up. dont worry about me-freezing OUTSIDE the car-with NO coat on. (seriously-i wasnt thinking about myself-but the same thing he was-i just had to complain ). so in the process of our conversation-my car alarm starts to go off. what the heck is going on??? emersyn is giggling thru the window-so oblivious to whats going on....sampson is running all over the place in the car---WAIT-sampson!!!! that little terd!!! HE stepped on my lock button and then the alarm button!!!! totally underestimated the little runt....so anyway- i call the cops....they come.....kelly comes.....and my baby girl is SAFE and hypothermia free. I, on the other hand, had sligtly frostbitten fingers from being outside for a half hour w/o no coat. what
did i learn? two things-coat. never forget it. and keys. in my pocket.....

saturday-sposed to go to a work party-but sat. comes-and im just really not in the mood. i am in the mood however, to paint. my kitchen cabinets have been half painted since i moved in. so i made a deal with kelly-you help me paint, we stay home from party...deal. 4 1/2 hours later.....love you kelly-but you are the SLOWEST painter in the world. i kept thinking-why is this taking so long??? finally-when i paid attention- i realized i was painting 2 1/2 doors to his ONE!!! so i poked at him to pick it up a bit....he did. now, this is no easy task. my 100 yr old cabinets were that antique orange color-think the UGLIEST shade of orange you can imagine....painting them white.....and like a million coats of paint....it took forever.....plus, i drank like 3 red bulls, and it gave me the toots. bad. stinky. ( for those who know me-i know you are laughing) kelly wanted to kill me. (its kinda funny) kells dad stopped by-always fun to see him. he is hilarious. i love his hair-its longer than mine, and so thick. had a few drinks by myself.....went to bed. ohhhhhhhhhh-i cant forget this!!!! so-jae gave kelly a kiss goodbye-and when he left, she crawled up in my lap and said, 'mommy, i would be happy if you and kelly got married'. *sigh* -priceless moment.....jae loves kelly, but has been jeolous of our time-so this was HUGE!!!! i started to cry....she is so sweet. it made my night....

was mad at kell sund. morning bc jae had her church program and i was gonna pick him up and take him.....tells me to call him in the AM....i do....no answer (now-you all know how i HATE when people dont answer the phone...) go to pick him up and hm. his car isnt home.... ??? whatever. went to church. mad. very mad at him. i was thinking he was sleeping at his sisters.....of course, i was right.....so mad. spent all day being mad at him yesterday. he knew that.....apologized. told him not to apologize to me-but to jae....you know-wasnt even so much mad-just disappointed.....he showed up after packer game-just showed up. still mad at him. dont talk to him. asks if he can take jae for a while.....hence-this is when he took her to air it up....still mad when i went to bed-but i could feel myself letting it go....amazing. this morning, not mad anymore. this is how i know this is it for me.....when you go thru ugly stuff-big and small-and sure, you get mad. and sure you want to hurt them....and sure you dont like them, but you dont stop loving them......night.