this year has been amazing....simply amazing. it has been one of the most profound years to date for me.

i got a new job, which i love. i have learned so much and have developed some amazing relationships with co workers. i have earned a new respect for the physicians i work with and see them more for WHO they TRULY are-and that they are a lot more like me than i ever realized-human....i bought my first house, which has been one of my proudest moments. i have struggled to get to where i am- and buying a house and making it my own has been very fufillilng to me. i got a dog-sampson. that was kinda a random thing, but i needed something to 'complete' my family. i had my house and my kids-why not a dog....i love him, even though some days i want to hurt him ( we are still working on the whole potty training deal). i joined a phenomonal small group. i LOVE this group so much. they have challenged me and my walk with Christ. They have loved me for ME from day one. they have taught me to love myself more-which is something i am doing a little of each day. the support they have given me has really carried me thru-and i just smile thinking about them....one of the greatest things that has happend to me this year is kelly. i know, im sappy....but i cant leave him out of this. he has completed me. i now feel like i am just beginning my life....i mean, my kids have given me sooo much and more, and God and my family has as well-but i was just missing something....him. i am so utterly in love with the boy, i get goose bumps just thinking about it. yes-this is the girl who one year ago swore off marriage and more babies....yes this is the girl who thought love between man and woman was 'soo over rated'....yep, thats me. i find myself looking forward to the days when kelly and i wake up next to eachother and i want to be able to have one more baby-and be excited. i was excited with my other kids, but you all know the circumstances surrounding it made it 'less' exciting-if that makes sense. i want him to put his hand on my belly, and feel our baby move. i want to grow old with him. i want to go thru the good, the bad and the ugly with him-because i know its not always going to be good. i want to be able to look back on our life and all we went thru and say-we did it. we never gave up on eachother. even when the going got tough-and boy it has-we hung on. he has made me and is making me a better person every day. i cannot wait until forever with him.

i have watched my babies thru another year. it goes by so fast...i have watched emersyn go from crawling to walking to running. i have watched jaelynn truly transistion from 'toddler' to child. her understanding of life is so different than one year ago.i have wathced jaelynn and emersyn grow as sisters. i love it. jaelynn becoming the 'big sister' and the protector. emersyn looking to jae more as a role model. its amazing how at this young of an age-children adhere to that figure.

i have watchd myself become less selfish. i have felt myself become less independent-and allowed myself to depend on kelly a little bit. i have learned about 'fiscal resonsibility'-aka having a mortage...i have become more patient.

i dont know what it is about new years and having resolutions-but of course i have them....dont we all? i vow to be a better mom....im so far from perfect-i wish i could do it all....abviously i cant, but i do want to do better....and this wouldnt be a new years resolution without sojmething about diet and exercise....*sigh*....i plan on doing my first half marathon this spring...leading up to a full eventually....i will love harder. i will laugh more...i will return to Haiti for another trip. i will trust God more and wholely. i will appreicate kelly more, as well as my family. i will love like ive never loved before....happy new year.