pre-birthday blues????

i dont know....maybe im just premenstrual... i just feel so blue today. birthdays never bother me-that whole 'getting older thing', doesnt bother me. so i think its probably PMS. but i just find myself missing georgia so much lately. i love it here-dont get me wrong. i just miss my friends. i dont really have any close friends here. i have my small group-whom i love dearly, but as for best friends, those who i confide in, its still my best friends from georgia. and i dont have anyone to ever hang out with every now and then, and i miss that, immensly. i miss the nights where we just sat there, laughing and hanging out by the pool-listening to music. just being with each other. we just have this bond. i think the fact that we lost a lot of friends in high school to car wrecks tied us together in a way unlike most friendships. its neat. we can go months without seeing people-and just pick up and its like we were never apart. but imagine that with like a group of 15-20. i miss meghan and her silliness. i miss chrissy and her ability to make me laugh at her candidness. i miss nicole even when shes bossy. :)i miss johnny and his long spider arms that just bury me when he hugs me. and ryan, his smile that lights up a room. and sarah bodie (who will always be bodie to me), her sassy attitude, but oh so loving heart. i miss my old college roommates-mela, t, shanna-who when i get to see them, i laugh so hard i pee my pants. i miss being able to tell secrets-face to face. and cry-face to face. and i miss being able to be there for THEM- face to face. im close with my sisters, but not any ONE particular sister. they are all super close to each other-like leah and ali, and steph and jen, they always called me the black sheep-i look the least like them all, and am the least 'close' to all of them, too. kelly is my best friend-he knows everything. but sometimes i need a girlfriend to talk to.....:( this whole being off of work thing, is clearly doing nothing to boost my morale either....its ridiculous. i sit in my PJ's all day. i made a list of things i 'should' do while i have this time off, like clean out the girls drawers, finish painting, etc...but i am sooo unmotivated. the weather sucks, so i cant do anything outside-like go for a walk...well i could, if i wanted to freeze my nani off...and trying to explain it to kelly is moot point, because hes never had friends like that, so he doesnt understand what i am missing....and not only that, kelly associates georgia with shawn=bad. (shawn-jaelynn's dad) so he gets edgy....he loves my friends b/c i love my friends, but he'll never understand it, and i dont expect him to....no one really does. and it makes it hard....i am just sad today. :(