a little bit of.....everything..

so. first things first.

i have a new obsession. im not sure if i want to admit it here, for the world to see. okay. here goes. gossip girl. there, i said it. i know, this show is HORRIBLE. as in, sleazy and all things my mom and dad would NEVER approve of me watching. but, i cant help it. ive heard my friends talking about it, and got the bug. so, i decided to check it out myself...i rented the entire first season, and it had me at 'gossip girl, xoxo'.....now if only the second season would get released.....

my sister jenni is going to be induced tomorrow, so im super excited. say a prayer that all goes well.....leah is due in a couple weeks, but i have a feeling this weekend is going to be her weekend. just a feeling i have....

we went up north this weekend to kell's dads for father's day. had a blast. it is so beautiful up there. its only about an hour away. he lives on the river, in the woods. about 2 weeks ago, they had 2 bear-a mom and a cub actually come up on there porch looking in the window. crazy.....we created an 'eco-system' for the kids in the kiddie pool. caught a million bullfrogs, a fox snake, tons of minnows, crayfish, a northern, perch, oysters, snails--and some other creatures we didnt know the names of.....the kids LOVED every minute of it. at one point, i had to leave to go to the bar (b/c the town they live in is so small there isnt a grocery store) to get some soda, so i was driving down the gravel road when i see this big fat snake. the fox snake we caught was small, like a garter snake. think big, like a rattle snake. so, i got out of my car-my interest peaked.....all the sudden it bowed up at me, exactly as cobras do, and fanned out its head like a cobras. kinda freaked me out, no? yeah. it started to slither away, so i threw some big fat rocks on him. i took a picture of him so i could ask kell's dad what kind of snake he was. turns out, he was a blow snake. they are similar to cobra's in the sense that they fan there heads up and out the way cobra's do. and are poisonous. yikes. saturday night, i was outside, kell was in the house with kids in the hot tub. there is a clear patio door that leads out to the screened porch. it was open most of the day, but kell's dads girlfriend had to work early sunday AM, so it had gotten closed. jae wasnt aware of this, and since it was dark, didnt see it.....can you see where this is going? yeah. ran right into it. poor kid. she was more embarrassed than anything. so kell yells for me and i go cuddle her up. she wanted to get her suit on and get in the hot tub with kell, emersyn and kaedyn. so she went to get her suit on, all excited to go swim. not even five minutes later, i was outside sitting by the fire, when i hear her crying again. she ran into it a SECOND time. only this time she literally RAN into it. HARD. it was dark in the house, so i couldnt see very well. but we went and sat down. i was holding her, and she was just a crying. so hard she was steaming up her glasses. so i went to take her glasses off, and when i did, i saw blood. EVERYWHERE. and lots of it. her face was completely covered in blood. i started to panic. now, you all know im a nurse, blood doesnt bother me. but, when its your own child's- its a whole different story....i jumped up and yelled to kell, ran jae into the kitchen. at which point i almost passed out.... oh geez, i thought. not good. everyone came running in to help. at first glance, i was thinking, grab your keys, lets go-she needs stitches. it was right above her eye. now, if you know anything about eye wounds, or 'head' wounds, its that they bleed like a mother. once we got her all cleaned up, it wasnt that deep of a gash, but it was pretty wide. some dermabond would have been a dream, or a butterfly bandaid....so she was okay, but poor kid, slammed into that door hard. itll be a nice scar, but i told her itll give her character. :) she also has a bit of a shiner. *sigh* im glad shes okay, it couldve been worse...

anyone watch jon and kate tonight? kelly had just walked in right after the big announcement to see me balling. i mean, like breath hitching crying. okay. so, i am an emotional person, but i dont get teary over tv type stuff often. but, it was heart wrenching. kelly cant stand to watch it-b/c he he thinks they need to pull the plug on it. step back. they knew what they were signing on for with the whole tv stuff. and while thats true, like i said, they are still people, and its always sad to see a marriage break up. especially when there is kids involved. my heart hurts for those kids. but for jon and kate too. i agree with kelly. i DO think they need to pull the plug. its time. they say this has been a long time coming, and that 'even if' the media wasnt there it would havent happened, but it was definately a factor. and fine, if separation is what they feel is best-but those kids are going to need them more than ever right now, and i think they owe it to them to do it in private. i really do. so, im not going to watch anymore. and neither should you. kelly made me realize that tonight. he said shame on them and shame on the people who watch. yeah, its entertainment, and again, its what they signed on for, but enough is enough. shows over. they are exploiting their children, and it may have been 'okay' before, to help secure their 'future'-but its not anymore. the media scrutiny over this from the attention WE give them, is going to ruing these kids. shame on US. another statistic. why do we just give up so easily? why do we take the easy way out in marriages? i dont understand it. i simply dont. and people wonder why yound people today are so quick to NOT take the plunge, but rather just cohabitate forever. why, when they can just play it 'safe'? what DID happen to 'death do us part'? or the marriage vows? it frustrates me to no end, especially as my wedding nears. i get scared every now and again. i think thats normal. i hope thats normal--but the way that marriage has been portrayed today isnt how i remember it growing up, and it scares me for MY kids. i mean, hell, i HAVE a child out of wedlock. there is so much uncertainty.....the only thing i AM certain of is that when kell and i get married it IS forever. divorce is a word that isnt even in our vocabulary.