no words.

how do you start a post saying that a friend has died? i dont really know. i found out that someone i went to school with, and played 5 years of soccer with was killed in a car accident today. she was 11 weeks pregnant. she left behind a daughter. her husband was driving and is in the hospital. its been about a year since ive last spoken to her, but we that doesnt make it hurt any less. she wasnt my 'best friend'. we used to say our high school was cursed. and kind of half 'joke' about it-to try and make light of it, bc a thick silence always filled the air.....but it seems true. we have lost over 10 friends-good friends in car wrecks. its so bizarre. weird. not normal. its bought us all super close to one another, but its so painful. we arent supposed to bury our friends. we are supposed to bury our parents--that thought alone is hard enough to think about....but what i mean is the whole 'age' thing....its a 'more' normal thing to bury our parents, as they age and pass due to age related illness, etc....but we are young and resilient, we arent supposed to die....

i will never forget the first soccer practice with shayna. she had just moved to georgia. it was club soccer....she showed up with her super long acrylic nails, bleach blond hair, and her shimmery eyeshadow and big brown eyes. we loved her, and she was hilarious. she always made me laugh...her nails.....how she could play with those thing-i dont know. she always had them done up to the nines. airbrushed with some fancy design and crazy color. ALWAYS. and SOOOOOOOO long. and she ran like SUCH A GIRL. i know, i know, we ARE girls.....but shayna=run like a girl. it was great. i can just picture it now.....her running down the right side of the field as a wing, super long fingernails in the wind, flapping like a girl..... :) man, i will miss that girl. between her, jaquelyn and randy--those 3 were always wreaking some kind of havoc, ALWAYS. leave it to the three muskateers....i remember her being the apple of her daddy's eye. ralph lundy soccer camp with 'lucky', (liam) our trainer wouldnt have been the same without shayna....she was a ray of sunshine. she will be missed.

i keep thinking about her daughter, and it hurts....i think about my daughters....and i pray for her husband, and their whole family. that God would be with them through this dark hour. i simply cannot imagine what they are going through right now, it makes me nauseated.


life is so short guys. please, be safe.


rest in peace, shayna. i will miss you.