*momentary lapse of insanity*

that last little post, that was me losing, or having done lost my mind.....

i think i have recovered from my little breakdown, temper tantrum, hissy fit, or whatever you want to call it. my kids drove me up the wall and across the ceiling tonight. wow. i mean, wow. its been really crazy lately with kell being out of commission. im like a single mom again. full time. i have to say it has made me really appreciate him and all he does for me-just having him here sometimes keeps me sane. ya know? like they can be going bat shi* crazy and we will just look at each other-and its okay. but now im on my own, pulling my hair out. i DO NOT miss those days. at.all.

kelly always comments on how patient i am. i dont feel like i am. he says it amazes him how patient i am with the kids. ha. coulda fooled me. i feel like im am often too impatient. im feeling so overstimulated and overwhelmed. my head is buzzing. we even went for a walk. i refused to put emersyn in the stroller so she would tucker herself out. let me tell you-she is the turtle of all turtles. hilarious. my family comments on how slow i am....this child is my image.....she is soooo s.l.o.w. but so cute. i kept having to 'race' her to get her to move....apparently the walk did nothing to curve the endless energy of my 2 crazy kids....

speaking of race, i had my duathalon yesterday. i dont event think i mentioned it in my blog....i did a duathalon yesterday. :) there, i mentioned it. it was a 5K run, 32 mile bike, 1 mile run. omg, the weather was gorgeous. the leaves, phenomenal. i even saw a bald eagle on my bike ride. it was good. no panic attacks this time, however- after my run i got a bloody nose. big deal right? well, not really except that in all of my 27 years, i have NEVER, i mean NEVER gotten a bloody nose. it was bizarre. i was pedaling away and i looked down at my hands-and there was blood-everywhere! what the heck i was thinking....i looked down at my legs, thinking i scraped myself or something. no blood. so i just kept pedaling. then i felt something dripping down my face- i had bronchitis all week, so i was still congested in my chest/nose. so i wiped my nose-and blood-everywhere. luckily i had a bunch a kleenex, so i was able to shove some kleenex up my nose, but it was craziness. weird things happen to me when i do these things!!! what is my body telling me?! at about mile 15, i hit somewhat of a 'wall'-i wasnt really tired-just started getting bored and my butt hurt from biking. so i started singing to myself and being weird....it was grand. :) and then the last mile of the bike, my stomach decided to go on strike. oh.dear. i prayed it could just hold on until i was done running.....but it was not happy. if youve ever done a duathalon, you know after doing a long bike and going into a run-your calves tend to cramp up-and omg, mine did worse than the last time i did.....it was horrible.but i kept running. veeerrry sllllooooww, at sloths pace, but i kept going....at the 1/2 mile mark, my stomach issues kicked in full effect and i was squeezing my butt cheeks together....it was horrible. bbbuttt, i finished. almost one of the last people, but thats okay. :) i did it. and i feel pretty good today, my neck hurts from biking, but thats pretty much it.

ahhh. i have had approxamitely 10 minutes of silence now. could it be that the rascals have finally fallen asleep????